I’m old. I’m happy. I’m sometimes drunk.

I’m a 26-year-old single white (mexican) female, living in LA,  pursuing my dreams.  And I’m happy.  Sometimes I’m not, but usually, I am so unbelievably happy.  I’m happy with my job, friends, weather, health, so far so good. yay! Happy!  But then moments occur that make me think out loud, Melissa, YOU KNOW BETTER.  You know all too well about consequences.  1+2 will ALWAYS equal 3.  ALWAYS.  There is no way around that.

You would think that at this point in my life, I would know certain things about myself and my surroundings.

1. During heartache/break-up don’t watch the Notebook.

- I always watch the Notebook, and I cry, and I cry and I cry.

2.  Always have a hearty meal before consuming alcohol.

-  I rarely do.  Correction, I eat what I think would be enough.  It never is.

3.  Stuffing a toilet with paper will cause it to clog/overflow.

-  Duh! I knew that!

4.  Control yourself.  You are 26 years old, not 20.

-  I let loose.  Sometimes too often.

5.  Set a timer when you bake.

-  I like to imagine myself as Julia Childs and think that I have an internal timer, beep! Oh, soufflé is done!   It is NEVER DONE

6.  Expiration dates are on eggs for a reason.

- … :/

7.  If I wink at him, he will wink back.  (if you build it, they will come mentality)

-  THEY NEVER WINK BACK.

8.  If the room is spinning you are going to throw up.

-  Got it.

xo,

mel

I'm really attractive.