This weekend Jess, myself, and our good friend Jackie ventured to a Bikram yoga class in Atwater Village (Bikram Yoga Silverlake). The studio has a really great deal and on Saturday’s at noon they have a donation class which only cost $10. Good deal, right? Well, maybe for someone that loves bikram yoga or “hot yoga” as it is also called. For those who are not familiar with the practice, it’s yoga that last for about 90 minutes and is done in a room that is 105 degrees with 40% humidity. EFFING HOT, RIGHT?!
The sad fact that I’m about to admit to you is that I have never even done yoga before. And why, do you ask, did I decide to make my first yoga class a BIKRAM yoga class? Because OBVIOUSLY I’m a masochist. Right when we walked into the lobby, I knew I was done for. It was already hot in there and we hadn’t even made it to the yoga studio yet. I started to read over the list of tips to do to keep yourself cool while in class. “Don’t drink water during the class. It’s already too late to hydrate yourself.” DAMN. I’m notorious for being dehydrated already, so I couldn’t imagine how much nourishment I was destined to lose in the next 90 minutes.
The three of us paid for the class, wrote down our contact info (most likely for when people died) and then ventured into the dark yoga room. We put down our mats and began to stretch out. I haven’t stretched formally since my volleyball days in junior high. So, that was fun. Our yoga teacher was of course this beautiful little petite thing. I kind of had a girl crush on her. You know, not a “I would do that girl” crush, but a “Damn, I want to be that girl” crush. When she walked in, she turned on the lights and proceeded to turn UP the heat. “Are you kidding me?” I thought to myself. “It’s going to get HOTTER then it already is? Fuuuuuuuddddgggeeeee…” She also told us that the goal for all of us in the class was to stay inside the heated studio no matter what and not to leave even if we began to feel queasy and sick. We should know that us feeling sick was just our body’s working out all the toxins and we should just take a break and lay down if we felt that way. Then we began…
At first glance everything seemed ok. I had gotten through the first few poses with no worries. Just lots and LOTS of sweat. Then about 30 minutes in, we were allowed our first break. This was the only designated time that we were allowed to lay down and take water in. From here on out there would be no more breaks and it was up to ourselves to decide when we wanted water. “Don’t drink water during the class. It’s already too late to hydrate yourself,” rang through my head. I had never thought water could taste so good in my life and by this time we had been in the heat for almost 40 minutes so of course my water was warm. Ick. Then I realized that everything we had been doing up to this point was just a warm up. Seriously? I’m DRENCHED in sweat, I’m seeing black spots, and my water bottle is almost empty and you are telling me things are going to get MORE intense? Oh yes, and that they did…
After our official break, things got bad. I was unable to hold almost any of the poses without feeling faint and thinking I was going to pass out. I would lay down on the mat and every time I got up, the black spots in my eyes grew more and more real. I had to keep lying down constantly. And that’s exactly what I did. But I was DETERMINED not to leave the heated room. I would not fail! So every minute or so, there I was, laying back down on the mat. I was lucky enough to pick a place in the studio that had three pictures hanging right above me. Each had a paininting of a naked man in a yoga pose. One had an ocean behind him. The other was on top of a cheetah print rug. And the third must have not been that great because now I can’t even recall what he was doing. One clear point was that they were all naked and this was very apparent even through the black haze going in and out of my eyes.
About an hour into the class came the vomit. As I was lying there staring at the three said yoga men, it came out of no where. I laid there thinking “Brittany, you can NOT puke here. The bathroom is right in the studio. Everyone will hear you.” But my body wasn’t having it. If you don’t know me already, my body is pretty much a huge pussy, so there was no stopping the puke. I looked over at Jess “I’m going to be sick.” And then over at Jackie who was doing a marvelous job. Our teacher was even coming over and helping her with poses. Jealous.
I finally made myself get up and get to the bathroom. And there, drenched in sweat, I lost my dignity. All the water I had drank that morning was now in the toilet. Could I be more dehydrated? My grey tank top by now was black and all the hydration I had left in me was now being flushed. Ewww, I was sprawled out all over the floor. People had sweated all over this bathroom. Ug, I DON’T even want to think about it. I flushed the toilet again and headed back out.
By this time we only had about 30 minutes left. I was feeling much better after the puking. But still, my head hurt and so did the rest of my body. I tried doing the last 30 minutes, and it wasn’t so bad considering the rest of the poses consisted of us laying on our mats. Then, the longest 90 minutes of my life finally ended.
Jackie and Jess felt great. I felt like I could die right at that moment. We headed out into the lobby where Jess and Jackie proceeded to buy more classes and I sat drenched on the bench gulping in as much water as I could. The lobby that had seemed so hot when we first walked in now felt like the artic tundra. It was wonderful! I was disappointed with myself and the fact that my teacher probably thought I sucked at life. But the next day I have to admit that I felt really great! If you are a hardcore yoga person and don’t mind heat, you should for sure check it out! Here’s all the info:
Bikram Yoga Silverlake
3223 Glendale Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90039
Please don’t take my experience to heart. As I said earlier, I’m a HUGE pussy…